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Bury me in all my favorite colors. . .

 Have you ever had something awful happen to you? Something you'd take back in a heartbeat if the chance came by?
Something so crushing, it makes you feel foolish for overreacting to all the petty things thats happened to you.


When someone has some evidence against something awful you did; a mistake, a fuck up. They threaten to drag your name through the dirt because you refuse to do what they ask. 
They're like a ticking time bomb, holding it over your head, forcing you to do something that would make you hang yourself in agony after you did it. Something demoralizing, but just equally as demoralizing as the evidence this psycho has against you.

Think about your life before the blackmail: Popular, lots of friends, you have an endearing nickname, friends you laugh your abs off with, guys who find you enticing, the only people who hate you hate you out of jealousy; they want to be you and have what you have so badly they'll do anything to get it.

And after someone release an embarassing secret about you. . . .

You're infamous. You have virtually no friends. The girls at school whisper about you. The guys find you repulsive. Everyone hates you out of disgust; no one wants to be you. Not even yourself. . . . .
 So I went back to school and of course was buzzing about the Kanye West/Taylor Swift incident so I guess I should touch up on it.

While it happened, I felt like crying for her. I really did. This girl is like 17 years old and she's such a sweetheart.Kanye is a grown man.
And when you're a grown man, you should already have that filter installed in your brain that tells you when certain things to say are appropriate.
I'm glad Beyonce let Taylor come back on the stage and finish her speech. That was so sweet of her.

But Lady Gaga! MAN, I have a girl crush on Lady Gaga. She is so out of the box and wonderful and controversial I'd like to lock her up in my closet so she could only sing songs for me.
Her outfits were boss. Although I'd never wear a fucking bird's nest around my face, she makes it look cool.
And her performance was sooooooo smazing.

I'd pay big money to see this girl live. Even if I got fake-bled on. . . .
 The interwebzz has become very boring, LiveJournal.

And my summer is nearing an end and I still have so much left to do. . . . .

So far I've:
  • went to cheer camp (has a blast)
  • cut all my hair off Rihanna-style (minues her large-head)
  • Went to Philly to visit my family (and play Guitar Hero non-stop)
  • got a Blackberry for my birthday
  • celebrated my birthday at P.F.Changs with my bestest friends.
Now all that's left is to:
  • Figure out who else is taking Chemistry at 9:00
  • Go to Dylan's pool with Jarlan
  • Hang out in Carytown with Jarlan and Kelcie
  • GCH concert
  • Figure how to get this fucking Jaws of Life case off my Blackberry

 Ok, so I was in an argument with this guy on Facebook, and he was saying that (in a response to a comment I made about this country being taken from the natives and then enslaving the natives, raping their women, and inflicting disease on their people) how dare I make such a comment about our country on it's birthday and that many countries took over the indigenous people. That it was either us or the Natives.


Who is "us" first of all? I am much more a descendant of a Native American than of the original settlers (although I am Irish), so he was basically saying that it was either Him or Me.
And just because it's July 4th doesn't mean I'm going to pretend I'm proud of how this country came to be. Granted, I don't hate living here, especially since we finally have a president of my liking, and I am a free woman in this country allowed to speak and think for myself.
But the history is ALL FUCKED UP.
I'm not going to suck it up one day out of the 365 and pretend I enjoy learning in history class that the aboriginal people here were taken from their own land and forced to work for the conquerors.

So, Facebook Asshole who is a friend of my old friend Zoe,



Apr. 16th, 2009

 Ok is anyone as sick of Miley Cyrus as I am?
I can't read my face fashion mags without her being on the cover.

Just a thought...

A thought

I loved you

Notice that past tense I used with that word
Possibly one of the most absurd
thoughts i had ever thought
My mission was that i had sought
to make you love me  as much as I loved you
And you did

Or so it seemed

No i was just living in a dream
Because loving me for the reasons isn't the case
You loved me for my body and my face
And to you my mind was just lost in space

I let you explore parts of mind and body not explored before
But you took those things for granted
Your motives and views were slanted
And this is why I use the past tense of love

I loved you


Writer's Block: Heavenly Bodies

If you discovered a new planet, what would you name it?


Because that's the best word in the english language

Apr. 8th, 2009

 Ok coming up with 100 facts about OCD is really hard.


Is anyone out there diagnosed with OCD? I could really use an actual subject for my project. And it's better than these repetitive sites that Google keeps spitting out.

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